Dear Livejournal

Discus (and others) are climbing up to take the one thing that made you unique - a sense of community.

I'm currently reading a lot of blogger thoughts about the program and there's all this talk of 'Controlling your own comments' and 'No clear migration'

And all I can think of is that I "lost" all my comments when I left Livejournal behind. And my decision to blank the journal makes it all even more lost to the general public.

Anyway I just emailed Disqus Support to get info on their TOS and Privacy Policy. If I like what I hear - I'll switch over. I miss threaded comments and the feeling of community/conversation from LJ.

Who Is Rachel Moss?

Why is Rachel Moss being shunned as transphobic, fatphobic and emotionally abusive towards children?

Well apparently for Rachel Moss, WisCon was for the Lulz.

WisCon is not my thing. It may very well never be my thing. However setting off a chain reaction of hatred on the internet that involves people's pictures being posted with mocking of size, status as a PoC, mocking of their disabilities and leading to like minded, nasty racist individuals trolling for pics so they can post them with the words 100% Nigger - THAT SHIT GOES BEYOND DIVERGING INTERESTS!

Actions have consequences. Rachel Moss took some actions. A google bomb shunning is a consequence.

Am I taking the AngryBlackWoman's Blog side over Rachel Moss? Hell yes I am. Cause I ABW is owning their words.

Rachel Moss? How To Win Friends & Influence People on Line 1. They want to give you your money back.

B-Day Wishes

Happy Birthday K-Box.

When you finally get some sleep, may it be filled with rotund older women, who'll sing you sweet lullabyes after fighting off an alien invasion while fully clothed,fierce and packing weaponry for bear.

Tokyo Pop Says - Blow Me. Who'll Sign Up?

I seriously, SERIOUSLY, hope that minority creators are too well versed in the history of cultural appropriation, theft, sacred space violations, actual rape, land stealing, slavery, indentured servitude and more - than to sign a contract that cheerfully states they'll be giving up their rights to their creative product.

Why signing a Tokyo Pop Manga Pilot Pact (and/or other of their contracts) IS FOR SUCKERS!

Why a folksy contract is like a folksy President, Prime Minsiiter or Premier and IS FOR SUCKERS!

I'm shouting about minority creators but if anyone, white, black, brown, gold, red, bronze, green, purple signs up for this in a flurried rush of "But I'll MAKE IT BIG AND RENEGOTIATE" I will feel incredible sad for you. Sad and helpless, because you'll have created this mess yourself.

The US dealt with a writer's strike in Hollywood over late last year and early this year. What was it about? RIGHTS! Rights and rights to proper compensation.

Why do unions go on strike? Rights! {yeah yeah, there are those idiots who mess it up for everyone - but I'm talking in general here}

This should get talked about. There are too many young people who tremble and get stupid at the thought of making a career out of something they love to do. HELL, I get all a trembling and dreamy eyes at the thought of bylines and book credits. I'm also cynical and believe in the concept of healthy selfishness.

Many people point out that this 'Pact' smells like a clone from the recording industry - y'know those people who sue their customers. I know nothing about how it works in present day or what the twists are for rap vs R&B vs NeoSoul (and yes rap gets a small r. Sometimes it's all cause I say so). I do know that I've read enough books and articles and have enough friends who were thoroughly and disgustingly all things boyband to know that crap and shit contracts have happened and do happen in pop and rock. I know N*SYNC (is the star fucking right?) was one.

All I have left to say right now is:

MOTOWN.

JERRY SIEGEL & JOE SHUSTER

BILL (bless him) FINGER

Heard of them?

Heard of Prince? Ever wonder why he changed his name? (The Artist Formerly Known As)

Haven't? Then Wikipedia is your friend.

Go forth, learn, educate. Don't be a sucker.

OLPC XO -2

Ambitious. Innovative. Cool.

And when I say cool, I mean:

Easier access to information.

Ease of text book distribution.

Ease of program learning for the future.

Ease of education.

Ease of mental expansion; art, music, creation/creativity.

The reason I'm writing about this in this journal? I am fed. the fuck. up. with people who see the OLPC as it stands and the company's dream for the future and start talking about how what 'those countries really need is water filters and food'.

You're wrong.

You're. so. fucking. wrong.

Likely cause quite a few of you making that statement associate 'those countries' with the ads that come on tv that talk about for 50 cents a day, you could feed a starving child.

I grew up in a third world country. We know to boil water to drink. And before you talk about the Caribbean being different somehow, I'll state that I grew up on the side of a mountain in the middle of a jungle. I drank rain water, my grandmother's home was a homestead and as a little girl I read books by kerosene lantern.

So please, shut the fuck up.

Education is EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING.

And in this day and age to not have general computer skills is a set back. Heck I've experienced that set back. Not from lack of general computer skills, but because I went to a school, right here in the US, that couldn't afford some of the necessities of the AP Biology program.

I got to college and I'd never used Quattro, far less on a laptop. I didn't know what it was for. I panicked. That panic changed my entire perspective on the class. All of a sudden I was listing everything I didn't know instead of what I did.

Now imagine that not for a single class in college. But that you've made it out of your village to university level, or you've made it out of your village and now you need to get a job. But the jobs that aren't grunt, physical labour, regardless of your smarts, require you to know things like the Windows Operating System, spreadsheets and email and wireless connectivity; because the jobs that pay are all with banks, broadcasting, or with companies that are outsourcing to your nation of residence.

What then?

There has been too much giving of fish to countries that instead need to be taught and learn how to fish in this new millennium. And if you don't know what I'm referring to, will you be upset if I say you're not well read? Will you be frustrated?

Pause a second and imagine feeling that way about something that you currently think of as basic, but that's really not for others.

I'm not saying that infrastructure is a bad thing. I'm not saying that there aren't places that could use help with infrastructure. How that help is given, however, is an entry for another time - because I have issues with the lack of respect for cultural norms of various areas, as if progress means doing things the white American or British or European way.

But infrastructure is not just about housing and water and food. It's about the ability of a community to fend for itself; police itself, protect itself, provide for itself. Giving them only food and water makes them dependent there after.

You don't just feed and cloth a child, you educate them. Why should a county rich with it's own history, currently poor because of the politics of a conquering and colonializing Europe - which tore tribes and families and the political system then in place apart, be treated as less than a child?

For my own self, the thought of children and adults in those countries, finding their way into the 21st Century; to create and enrich, perhaps in art and literature - well that just makes my world better.

Who knows what SF writers and artists may be handed tools meant for both education and play.

I can't wait to see and read what they have to say.

Faces of Colour

The first was here

WOWIO.COM has turned me onto The Razor Kid. Another Asian super-hero. A teenager. And a hero who's difabled. (Differently abled is too damn long to type out, and disabled feels weird. Welcome to Willow's comic blog vocabulary).

Unlike Superhero G who started off Japanese, I'm unsure which Asian ethnicity Alexander Tanaka is. His surname seems Japanese, but right now I'm not assuming.

Alexander lives in a world where superheroes need certification to do their jobs. He didn't start off wanting to be a hero. He's a genius and he was intending to follow the flow of his own brilliance. Then he stumbled into a horrendous conspiracy that then cost him his arms and he found his heroism.

I am seriously wishing there was a Pay for Download digital format for this comic. Because I'd spend the money for each installment. I want to support this product, this character.

Put out by Ronin Studios, whenever #2 comes out it should be available at Indyplanet.Com and ComixPress.

Extra Babble

It's only one issue, with some backstory on the main site. But I'm really giddy about an Asian hero. I realize that the loss of the arms might seem skeezy to some. That some how the Asian man had to be hurt etc. Truthfully I only realized that perspective several days after my "OMG! Asian Hero Kid! Genius Smarts! OMG Difabled Kid Kicked ASS!"

Goodbye Cruel - Nah, Just Taking A Break

I started this post two days ago, before real offline life interrupted. I was typing out a post to request that people no longer deliberately send me images of Marvel and DC cocking up horrendously on issues of race - if I stumble over it, that's on me. But I don't need my pressure skyrocketing up like someone's trying to win a Carnival prize, no matter what their original intent was in showing me the image.

I never finished the post.

I was suddenly hit with this mental whirlpool.

There I was, comparing mainstream comics to the mainstream public feminisphere and there was this correlation of becoming what you hate the moment you have even a little bit of power - and my brain just spasmed.

The word cockslapped came to mind. As in, have I been raising my voice and fist for the dubious honor of being cockslapped? Considering how gross I find penises, the mental image was quite disruptive.

From the original non-published post:

Mainstream comics and mainstream (or at least prominent) feminism (oh so white) have a serious amount in common. Comics won't listen to the women won't listen to the minorities.

On and on the message goes "This is not for you. This is for everyone (male/the sisterhood). Why are you making so much noise? Can't you see what we're doing? Why don't you just have your own?

"Put aside your blackness for this cause, put aside your womanness for that step up. Are you more interested in having JL covers with frequent women on the cover? Or frequent minorities. Pick a side. We hold the power and we'll dribble and dole it out."

The honor of being cockslapped...

When mainstream comics decides to promote a character of colour; but said character is bleached, or made more 'palatable' with more and more white features; lighter skin, different nose, straighter hair. (Don't get me started about Misty and the blue eyes)...

When comics decide to promote a female character but she's busting out of her top, or waving her shiny latex ass to the viewer (Catwoman covers)...

When a prominient self-named feminist notices a problem that affects WoC and PoC and thinks the gratitude for her bringing it forward to attention should negate her lack of pointing out the work that came before - by women of colour...

The link on my blog under the graphic title: PoC MEANIE, leads to a comment thread on livejournal where appeasing white folk, or 'You always catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.'is described as:

Also known as "Listen n*****, watch your manners now boy. You be nice to me, and I won't put you in your darkie place like you should be. Why do you presume to attack me. If I want to call your worthless sp** or P*** ass a sp** or p*** I can. It's been used before and it'll be used again. If you want me to change, get down on your knees and suck my big white cock and make me feel good about adjusting my attitude. After all, everyone agrees with me and you're the minority after all.

Yes, that's it... more tongue... now SUCK MY BALLS BITCH, that's putting honey on it. That's sucking away the liberal guilt... now stay still while I come down your throat..

Yes... yes...

There, last drops in your eyes.

Now kiss it and zip me up."

Cocksucking, cocksucker, a term that's flung around as an insult that's used to describe an action with a focus on it being done only by women, or gay men.

Though at the time I was thinking of it more as oral rape. "Please me via the orifice you use to nurture yourself. My cock is out, your mouth should be on it. Pleasure me and receive whatever I give out, be my receptical and then maybe, MAYBE, I'll listen to you"

And please, no one come into my journal to discuss cooercion and rape and what is rape and what isn't. You won't get published for one thing. And I will do something horrible to you, for another.

The sum of it all is power-tripping. Power is a heady thing, especially when you've never had it, and you've been scratching and climbing to get it. The people in charge of mainstream comics right now? They used to be powerless fans, reading week to week and wishing they had the power to change things. Now they do. And they have.

Goodbye MaryJane.

Goodbye Crisis, hello Crisis. And Crisis. And...Crisis.

The femiblogsphere exists and now there are women, white women, who are getting heard and noticed etc, etc, etc,. Who are getting book deals - which I bring up because Marcotte did say that people were only criticizing her because they were jealous and wanted to ruin her career. She got a sniff of power and it was 'SCREW Y'ALL DARK BITCHES'. Though truthfully, given her attitude, she'd probably had that mentality for a very long time before.

In the two days since I started writing the original and likely now forever unpublished post, there have been several incidents like in this ongoing conversation, where I just ended up shaking my head.

If the sex of those self labeled feminists was changed to male and we put them on Newsarama...

Y'know it's ok to love an ideal. I love America the ideal. But at the same time I am not burying my head in the sand, ass up, ignoring the things America, the country, government, citizenry is doing and have done in the past that go against the ideal of what this country could be.

But apparently when it comes to feminism, when it comes to comics, specifically the big two superhero universe comics, that's exactly what their proponents are doing. To point out what is wrong, is to attack, is to not really care about it in the first place, is to have no love for it at all. To point out what is wrong and to get fed up with explaining over and over again and with spoon feeding over and over again is to be an irrational and angry NOT TRUE FAN.

And damn, if using that term doesn't make me think of Laurell K Hamilton Troobies who will defend to the end an adventure series turned plotless and extremely bad written porno. Now I realized that that the Troobies identify with the books so much and that the books may have helped them explore areas wherein they felt shy and lost and had no where to start looking, that criticism of the books feels like an attack on them personally. But I don't believe every comics fan is some basement dwelling mouth breather who has no self identity other than through comics. And it's a ridiculous image to have about white women (and others) and feminism - no matter what their actions say.

It's just plain. Power. Tripping.

And I'm fed up with it.

My calling out the big two specifically has always been about equality. I want to see everyone get a power fantasy, hopefully at least three. I want said power fantasies to have flush support casts and interesting backgrounds. I want those universes to reflect the diversity of the world. I want equality.

And I'm calling out comics because popular culture reaches a large group of people. Popular culture can TEACH and expand minds. It's why I think movies and tv should be held accountable for misrepresenting cultures and peoples. Without preaching, popular culture can show you a different world, tilt your mind about a concept.

Popular culture IS the real world. It's the slang you speak, the clothes you wear, the products you buy, the concepts you integrate into your sense of self and your place in and around the world!

But don't talk to me about the big two unless it has something to do with DAZZLER. I'm going to take a break and explore other universes, other characters. It hurts, because these two universes were what I cut my teeth on, what I learned to read on, how I associated the concept of a punch with Batman sending a villain back three steps to smack up against a brick wall.

It hurts.

But there are other universes, other characters I could be pointing out. There are other modern myths I can embrace. So I'm going to do that for a while. It's time to regroup and praise while I figure out what my next step forward will be. Because seeing comics and the feminisphere as equal in their power tripping and ignoring is a big deal for me. I mean feminisarchy is a damn stupid made up word and doesn't even say what I want it to mean. WWS says that (White Woman Syndrome). Seeing a ladder and comics and the feminisphere as one tugging on the leg of the other to be noticed while mashing the hands and heads of anyone trying to climb up alongside is just...

Mind. Blown.

It's like this XKCD Comic except there should be a third panel where the girl stick figure tells a darker male or female stick figure "Wow, PoC suck at Math."

Becoming. What. You. Say. You. Hate.

Note: To anyone who'd been paying attention I'm going to switch FACES OF COLOUR, from the PoC Carnival Blog, to here.

Extra Note: I'll be moderating comments as usual but I don't know if I'll be replying.

Vixenification Right On Damn Schedule

FUCK YOU, DC

Give with one hand and take away with the other. Vixen has been getting on a lot of covers this year; As a White Woman

In which I rant about Bendis

So apparently Brian effing Michael Bendis is the seedpod and Frank Miller is the grown ass oak.

I'm reading Powers and I have no idea wtf to say other than Bendis has issues. Serious, serious, issues. Reading futher may spoil you and I never learned how to do Blogger's complicated as shite cut. [ the odd ways in which you miss livejournal / or lj clones ]

Anyway...

*

*

*

Did Bendis have any idea what he was playing into by making the Superheroes as Celebrity Team, Black folk who'd been experimented on by the government and who were considered expendable? Does he know what he did there? Is it supposed to be a commentary on everything from the Tuskegee Airmen to the sterilization of Latinas in the 50's? And more?

And then the Black folk get NO justice? We're supposed to be upset about the white police officer losing his job and getting his life messed up etc, and think he's all noble and shit. But when all is said and done, he gets his job back, and the Black folk are still dead, dead, dead.

Then the little brunette child gets powers that make her BLONDE?? WTF? She grows up blonde?  In order to be this epic legendary hero - there's blondness?

And speaking of legendary heroes What the Unholy FUCK was up with the apes? I flipped through that getting more and more pissed off. I mean, Proto-man discovers his great powers and destiny because he's fighting for some TAIL??? It's all about the fucking poontang who then dies? Talk about a fucking refrigerator.

I had to flip through the rest of that backstory shite where an evolved from an ape Whiteman (and yet it's funny how they don't get called porchmonkeys) goes somewhere in Asia to learn mystifcal fucking secrets cause y'know,that's what Asians are for; throw up the yellow poontang and teach you fu.  Though there's a convinient white girl there.

And Deena. I liked the whole 'touched by powers, will eventually get powers' angle. Except the guy she kills, it turns out NOT to be the jackhole who kidnapped her (yet another African Descended Villian btw) but some loser, stalker boyfriend who can't let her go and thus tries to kill her ass???!

Her big ass secret comes about because a moron stabs her in the back. A MORON. STABS HIS EX GIRLFRIEND, the COP, in the effing back.

I am not even getting into the fact that she doesn't arrest his ass the first time and write him up and have it on record. Because I will just spew cuss words for several paragraphs about that piece of shitty writing.

But now our heroine/protagonist has crossed a line, because a loser, fucking, coward stabs her in the back. And I think he called her a cunt while he did it.

Yeah, I think I should really believe that Bendis doesn't know wtf went wrong with Tigra, when this is the kind of shit he does on his fucking own.

Pissing In The Open Wound

This is very, very simple folks.

I'll get upset about the words 'sweetie' and whatthefuckever else, when y'all bitches I done walked away from, stop calling a proud, successful and accomplished BLACK man - boy.

Erica Jong, Amanda Marcotte, Ferraro, Rosanne "Bow Down For The Woman' fucking Barr, a certain author who dropped the word sorry in my journal after having a screaming fit but never saw fit to journal about her sudden revaluation of how much of her ass was showing.

Y'all keep widening the trench. Maybe the land'll break off and you can start your own damn island; all white, all right, all female.

ETA: Oh and comics? Do you really wish you could dip every black person into bleach to make them more presentable? Cause my answer to this is: GO FUCK YOURSELF!

Shit, this shit's got a name now; vixenification.

All white, all right, all the fucking time, even when they're supposed to be Black. All white, all the time, but with slanted Asian eyes (for women) cause it's exotic. All white, all the time but with feathers in the hair and some reference to the a 'Great Spirit'.

I repeat.

GO FUCK YOURSELF, UP THE ASS, WITH RUSTY RAT SHIT COVERED LEAD PIPE

*starts a spending account for indie comics*

PoC Carnival - erhm Street Fair!

When the People of Colour in SciFi and Fantasy Blog Carnival was started, I'd envisioned, along with essays and articles and links, that people would submit art (or links to art) so there would also be a visual component to the Carnival. I'd planned to call it; The Wanted Section. But that section never took off. It hasn't happened and the Carnival will soon be up to issue #10.

While that wasn't happening, I decided to aim for a Special Art Edition of the Carnival. I got into the habit of net surfing and searching looking for PoC Fantasy Art or looking to see us represented in Fantasy Art. I gathered several links. I keep stumbling across comics. But I haven't had the time lately to devote to a special edition. The list of possibilities gets longer and longer and the more I wait, the more I end up feeling guilty and ineffectual.

So I'm going to take the original plan, rename it (Faces of Colour, like the flickr feed on the blog site) and have it show up as I am inspired, on the PoC in SF blog itself.

These will be random entries, and may be quite short; just a single picture and a link or two paragraphs. But I would rather get these links and thoughts out and shared, than try to wrestle them into a single special issue Carnival that gets put out maybe twice a year, if at all.

I need to see this made visible now. I need to point out incredible artists.

So please look out here, because coming soon will be the first Faces of Colour.

... I'd post something right now. But I hadn't actually planned to use the PoC Carnival Blog quite so soon. And well, I seriously need to change or brighten up that layout. So for the next couple of hours at least, I need to hunt for a preset template.

If you have any suggestions on where I might find some. Please, feel free to comment.

Ok auto-saved at 8:58pm. It's way past midnight now and I didn't get any template searching down. Long story. Feeling less insane now. Posting this anyway.

ETA: First one's up.

Walk The Line

|this may trigger - hugely|



I was originally not going to comment on Melissa Bruen. Then I learned that there was backlash.

This story seems like a graduating journalist's cry for fame. If I'm mistaken, then I am sorry, but I don't buy into any of it. Sweet picture on the front page, and nice "swimmer's build," but I feel sorry for anyone who is actually a victim of assault and doesn't have such a romanticized story to tell

It's ok, you can look. That link includes comments rebutting such a statement as romanticizing.

But I don't suggest you go scrolling through the comments here from Shakespearessister's blog. It might infuriate you.

Or at least, I hope it would.

It should.

A young woman on a college campus walking back to her dorm is assaulted. She fights back. OTHER random men in the area then group assault her in retribution for her fighting off the first asswipe.

When I first read the story last night, the moment I read her taking more than one swing at the first guy I knew what had happened. You see there is a line women are supposed to walk without ever falling over. Comic bloggers and other fiction bloggers (women) talk about it all the time. We say "Madonna/Whore Complex" until those who aren't getting it, just get sick of seeing it and tune it out.

Big deal they think, so what if this superheroine or that superheroine is walking around showing that much flesh; walking around not protecting her most vulnerable parts (bare stomach, uncovered thighs). It's comics.

Only it's not.

Comics are escapist fantasy. And Super Hero comics are POWER FANTASIES.

Do you have ANY idea how difficult it is to have a Power Fantasy when heroines in the books I read don't pay attention to the Madonna/Whore Complex?????

Oh, that again. Yes, THAT. AGAIN.

During the first assault, Melissa Bruen was just a woman; faceless, without personality or autonomy of her own.. She was an ass to rub off on, an object that should just stand there and take it.

With the first swung blow of self defense she was MADONNA. She became a good girl who was suitably disgusted. The problem is, the MADONNA must be perfectly feminine and submissive while insisting that raw, unwanted sexuality not touch her. She must cajole and coax decent behavior for the sake of PURITY.

Women who're trained in self-defense do so / can do so in order to give up having to play the MADONNA. Playing that role leaves you in the shower for hours trying to scrub away not just the touch of the invader, but something akin to self-hate, that you had to mollify an assaulter in order to survive. Survival is everything. It is the ONLY thing. But it can leave a film.

Melissa Bruen took a second swing and a third. She wanted this asswipe to know his advances were. not. welcome. And she fell, tumbling across the line to WHORE. The whore is not a good girl. She can be a virgin and she's still not a good girl. Good girls know their place. Good girls don't claim power. Good girls don't say no and follow it up with pressure and physical hurt.

I realize this is Frank Miller logic, and you may think I've gone crazy. But please, try to hold on until the end. Cause I KNOW this.

Let's break it down:

Not! A Good Girl = WHORE.

WHORE = SEX.

A WHORE DENYING SEX = EMASCULATING BITCH

How do men who feel emasculated react? By re-affirming their power.

What's the easiest way to re-affirm that power? Sexual humiliation.

It doesn't matter that they weren't the original assaulter. They witnessed it. Their world view was shaken. A good girl isn't violent. A good girl would have let them pull her off her attacker, would have let them mollify her. Would have let them make her apologise to him; for hitting so hard, for getting out of control, for making it a big deal and not taking it as a joke.

So they gang assaulted her. And she had to fight and fight and keep fighting just to get clear.

This turning of the tides? This group/mob mentality? It's not an isolated incident. It's not a one off. You think women are surprised by this? You think it's not going through our heads everytime we resist a group on the corner throwing cat calls? Or anytime we're on a well lit street, but it's late at night and there's more than one man lounging somewhere who feels free to say something, or make some motion in reference to our bodies or sex?

You think, for those of us who read comic books, that we're not damn well aware that our heroines fucking teeter on that Madonna/Whore line? That there aren't bad guys from street thugs on up to Supervillians (Except Doom, who's too self inflated to feel emasculated) who don't want to 'teach a bitch a lesson, just who does she think she is, strutting around, fighting back???'

You think we complain about heroines fighting in their damn UNDERWEAR because we're just trying to ruin your fun??? Your little bit of titillation?

No. We think about this. ALL. THE. DAMN. TIME. We're fucking geniuses at figuring the odds, some of us. Meta class geniuses, those of us who've dared say no with more than words. And don't say "Well what about Melissa". This was her first time using more than words. Why should she be thinking of rules no one tells you until you face the consequences?

Except for WoC. We know those rules at a pretty young age. Why? Well most of the time we never hit MADONNA. Jungle fever, and jigaboo and Jezebel and more; White Men are often convinced they have a fucking right to just reach out and touch us however they want. The days of slavery (and dominating colonialism) are gone, however, so they'll put a polite fiction over it:

* You're so exotic.

* I've never seen hair like that before

* You have the loveliest complexion

Has Misty Knight ever broken an idiot's hand for him? Because if she has, I need to read that. How about Betsy Braddock?

I get that vigilante/super heroic heroines are playing on the prey factor to draw in bad guys a lot of the times. I get the theory. But where is the moment they throw off that illusion and show strength? Why must the fighting ALSO be sexy and inviting? Why must the after fight resting be submissive and alluring?

We ask these questions over and over and over and over again in the name of the Melissa Bruen's, past and present. And in the name of those deemed Jezebels, past and present. We want to see strength that doesn't have to be tempered by mollifying fellow heroes by showing them skin and ass and tits so they don't have to feel emasculated.

Yes, I do seriously believe (read fanwank) that PJ's boob window is so that some individuals can comfort themselves with views of the goodies when she power smacks evil across town.

But remember this the hind end of a series of posts where I first did genderswitch after trying to explain that it wasn't about cat-fights? The conversation about heroine clothing wasn't about jealousy? That it was about wanting my heroines to be able to swoop in and be feared immediately, without pulling a bait and switch, without having to dance on that line?

*sighs*

Does explaining things like this make a difference? How masculine attitudes (perceived and experienced) and the ever present objectification and the realities of dark actions and implications in every day life, wear down a woman? How power fantasies shouldn't have those things wearing it down? How many women are always aware, from issue covers to panels that their hero is ever one step away from being used to re-affirm some male character's masculinity and power?

Cause it's there in society. It's there in the subconscious of the artist and the writer. It's THERE. We see. We don't seek it out. We see it because we KNOW it.

Do you understand now?

Does breaking it down like this make a difference? Are you thinking?

Or did you tune out at Madonna/Whore ?

|link backs are on|

Butterflies Opened My Eyes

My Twitter thoughts on Blogger backups and Blog 2 Blog were oddly enough prompted by my watching of Red Garden. I started thinking of where Seeking Avalon has come and where I want it to go, or grow or continue and all of a sudden I realized/remembered I don't have one button syncing for Blogger. Seriously Google, fix that. As much as I dislike Livejournal, someone made LJ Archive and with one button back up (with comments) it is soothing as all heck.

But back to Red Garden. I'm not sure I like it.

I'm curious about it. I want to watch more. But I'm not sure it's actually something I want to continue to watch.

In More Depth

I want to know what happens to the characters. I am curious as to the story. But watching the show was not an enjoyable experience for me, for a number of reasons; the seemingly sexualized violence, the victimization of the girls and the pacing of the mystery.

But the goad for my lack of enjoyment was watching the show in English dub.

Hearing American voice actors throws me off. I'm seeing Japanese style animation and stylized characters; So my brain immediately goes 'Willow, you forgot to switch languages and put in the subtitles.'

But I know that sometimes when I'm reading subtitles I can miss subtle things. So I watched it all the way through, all of the first four episodes in English. My conclusion is that the English voice actors lacked nuance. They had inflection, they could get the broad strokes right; anger, sadness, fear, emotional upset. But the whole thing was very plodding and cloddy somehow. There's one scene in particular where I didn't realize one character was supposed to be upset and in denial for several long moments - I thought she was just a bubble brain.

Now I know voice acting is as much a career in the US (and Canada and Europe) as it is in Japan. But I think Japanese Voice Actors and the profession are seen differently in Japan. Whereas most people have no idea why I'd have an unholy fan girl squee for one Rino Romano and why I'm so disappointed that I find the animated seres "The Batman" to be so much coddswaddle. I think in Japan, voice actors get enough attention that there'd be no difference between a Rino Romano and a Jensen Ackles.

Aside: Dear Rino Romano and Jensen Ackles, please to be picking projects from now on that I can actually stand. It's been two series in a row for you, Jensen. My patience is wearing thin!

Hearing the American voices and watching the animation, and having just read Hack/Slash I was made EXTREMELY uncomfortable with the violence. Broad vocal strokes aren't enough when some things are happening on screen; when scenarios are being played out that have as much to do with mystery and the supernatural as violence and fear. Which is to say the voice acting made me think of Hack/Slash the movie and how it'd be ruined by Scream Queens. It doesn't take acting to scream, or sound angry or sound scared.

But I am grateful I watched the whole thing through in English dub first. Because I wonder if I would have noticed the violence in the same light, if I'd been concentrating on the vocal acting the way I usually do; with the pictures as mere backup to the translated words.

And the violence is shocking and disturbing.

The premise is akin to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and how from a certain type of evil infection/possession/etc, comes an individual to take back the night. But while we didn't hear about what created Buffy for several seasons, in Red Garden, we know from the very beginning that something very, very bad happened to these four girls and it's not over yet.

We watch them try to piece together what happened, and then try to deal with the truth and what it means for them now. We watch them in total panic and fear, thrown head first into confrontation with bad things. And we see what happens when individuals in their circumstances aren't strong or determined enough. That scene in particular was incredibly disturbing to me, possibly because the main voice all through it was just so incredibly bad I couldn't help but focus on the animation and the scene was brutal.

There's another scene in the fourth episode, where the difference between a voice projecting shock, anger and fear vs just random screaming, makes a world of difference in relatability to the character. But after watching it, I found myself wondering at the difference. English voices, and I focused on the violence being done. Nuanced, acting, Japanese voices, and I focused on the trauma of the character and her emotional state.

I'm left to wondering about that. How much violence against women in anime have I seen where it didn't register because I was focused on the character; strength of voice, gasping breaths, mettle of tone; and not the actions going on around them? What does that mean? What do I do with this information now that I'm aware of it? How will this change what I watch?

Some days...

To anyone wandering in here via Racialicious, I'm currently dealing with an unexpected blow up somewhere else on the net and may not get through to publish your comments or respond for a little while.

The other upset involves a Harry Potter journal RPG that decided to call itself Kristallnacht.

Right now the cluelessness or not of popular authors and other women looked up to in the femiblogsphere, fall far, far down on the list of disappointments and crushingly painful, rage causing privilege.

I'll be back once I've weathered this thing out. In the meantime if you've got something to say about the previously mentioned author and her gender and/or race issues, please keep to that specifically. I will already be upset when I come to moderate your comments. I would prefer not to find comments that boil down to 'that bitch / she's a bitch'.

Pre-emptive: My blog is not a mud wrestling ring, for cat fights among women to the amusement of all. It's not here for cock fights either.

FCBD

Free Comic Book Day is tomorrow.

Even if I could find the energy to suss out where my Local Comic Book Store was - I wouldn't go limping around trying to find it tomorrow (yeah, knee problems, need to see an orthopedist), or trying to deal with people who'll be walking around cause it's warm and a Saturday and OMG free comics!

That's just a recipe for Willow to a) sit down and cry or b) start hitting people with the heaviest thing she can find.

To those of you that know me....

Alright, moving on.

I would very much welcome hearing about Maximum Ride (James Patterson) I read two of the books last summer and they didn't suck. I found myself thinking of Garth Nix like conspiracy with a touch of Xavier's School for Mutants. I'm interested that they're doing it manga style.

I would also welcome hearing about Project Superowers - as that looks interesting.

And lastly The Stranded. Scifi & Virgin Comics - will it be a version of The 4400? Which unfortunately I never finished watching last season - too much stress in my life for me to see characters do dumb shit.

I don't think I'll miss too much of Neoptopia as WOWIO has it, through to Volume 4, Issue 5. But as it's further down on my WOWIO queue, I wouldn't mind hearing about it either.

So all you need to do is drop me a comment to your reviews if it includes these and I'll shuffle on over and read about your squee.

And if you see anything not on the list that's all about the CoC (Characters of Colour) DO tell me. I'd really appreciate it. Thanks.

Ami Was Born Today!

Happiest of Birthday's


AMI!

ANOUNCEMENT: 9th PoC in SF Carnival!

Go see the Carnival!. Read! Be educated! Become aware!

There's an interplay between art and speculative fiction and how we, PoC, see ourselves vs how we are seen that makes me think thinky thoughts about that application in fiction.

There's also a history lesson about Bengali SciFi. BENGALI! If your mind is blown with yay, go find :)

There's also a footnote regarding the naming of selves from PoC to NWP and more across the Diaspora.

NB: I have had a problem using the term NW for individuals. I've discovered I'm more comfortable saying NWP - it feels less like I'm shouting some equivalent of n***** and more like I'm discussing a huge swathe of the earth's population. But I, like the current host, invite everyone to define themselves how they wish in comments to the Carnival

Open Letter

Dear Tamora Pierce, (and others),


I've been black since the doctor smacked my butt and I took my first breath.

I've been black while teachers tried to figure out how to keep me behind but send kids far less bright than I into specialized advance placement tracks.

I've been black while teachers told me to sit down and shut up about slavery being wrong because black people in Africa had slaves too.

I've been black when cops stopped my wee little girl ass on the sidewalk for walking with melanin or daring to discuss homework with more than one other black friend in front of the corner library; unlawful assembly anyone?

I've been an immigrant since I set foot in this country.

I've been an immigrant while people tried to talk to me really slowly assuming I didn't speak English and that somehow made me stupid.

I've been an immigrant hassled by police, as a child, because I didn't look like their all American little girl.

I've been gay since my first crush on a girl.

I've been gay since I began to object to boys calling each other 'fag' in my highschool classes.

I've been gay since homophobes shouted and chanted and threatened to throw things while I marched in DC. Incidentally I was gay AND Jewish then too.


So I'm so sorry if my identifying with being black, an immigrant and gay, before identifying with a cause that promotes itself as by/for American middle class white women, whose lives are already filled with CHOICE, reads to you as stupid.

And I'm sorry if you don't get it.

But the truth is, it's just ONE more example of you and yours NOT GETTING IT. So really? What's new there?

Intersectionality - I live it, breathe it, read my comics to it. Feminism has enough supporters who wring their hands and cry and go 'But the Sisterhood!'. I turn my attention now, to the sidelines which are NOT sidelines in my life.

---

***

Oddly enough this is reminding me of my run in with Girlwonder.Org Forum Members. I brought up a lack of PoC. They screamed I was homophobic and I needed to mind my tone. And how dare I even suggest that it's easier to imagine a character gay that imagine a character is a PoC despite it being a visual medium. I realize I've been backing the hell away from that sort of feminism for a while now.