Tuesday, December 18, 2007

And then they had to go and ruin the ride....

Ok, who the hell did Issue ! 16? And why are there a complete ass? Like in white yeast ringed asshole! The art's too grooved, too dark, too sharp and edgy for the tone of the book. And on page three, I've got girl ass in the face!

For the past 15 issues, yeah, Alli's wearing a cropped t-shirt and TJ's showing belly button and blue cleavage and Sage is a dominatrix librarian. But aside from one panel where Sage's breasts were as big as her HEAD - I was focused on the story; story, characters, action. I was all over that. As can be attested to by my squee.

Now in Issue #16 (yeah, I don't watch tv and I'm staying up late) - Alison's ass is in my face.

So suddenly we go from Pete Pantazis and his AMAZING colour and Rick Ketcham's inking. And me going - Yay! Who ever you are artist, your art is COOL! And then I end up having to hunt down his name (Micahel Ryan) because in Issue 16 I've got ass in the face from some not!Michael.

What, they thought fans wouldn't notice?

Also suddenly Dazzler's chaps are shiny pvc fetish pleather... and why is Noctune's hair so long? Also why doesn't she seem to be wearing a bra? Why is her shirt peekaboo maybe she'll jump high enough and show breast?


JUGG ficking Y?

15 issues of Caine or Juggernaut and then Juggy?

[ Alison Blaire can't match her teammate's phenomenal fighting skill. She has other assets ] And then there's a shot of her glowing ASS! And it looks nude or nude stocking! WTF?

I waited and waited to see the sword. And it's with this horrible photo-realistic fuck art. And people's hairstyles changing ever panel? I'd almost think it was Greg fucking Land!

And ok, since when does Talia have braids? And is of African decent but with blue skin? Look I want black superheroes like whoa. But the Scarlett Witch? Not black. And Kurt Wagner? Not black. He's blue with European features (and fur). So Talia shouldn't be looking like Lauryn (the lovely) Hill! And why does Sage look like some odd cross between Jessica Alba and Angelia Jolie? And why in Issue 18 does she look like Torri Spelling?

Oh god this inker (and in the issue before) makes everyone look like they have a viral case of road rash. And Cain looks like Cro-magnon man!

And now Dazzler looks like Pink! And they're rehashing storyline info blurb from at least seven issues ago. And then claiming 'My god, I never thought of it'.

Man - this is fucked up. I got so excited and then I discovered - well, it's comic books, eventually they'll fuck it up. This bites.

Also, are all issue comics filled with so many damn ads? Marvel Purified Water - wtf?!

Oh Marvel. Oh Marvel. Marvel. Marvel - you misguided fool. Not only are you making mistakes of the regular sort, with not matching continuity in writers and artists and in not trusting to the intelligence of your audience - but you're selling people newsprint at 3-5$ a pop filled with ads and then complaining you don't understand how Manga attracts.

Guess I won't be buying New Excalibur after all. (Hmm, maybe there're trades up to Ep 15.)

PS: These last issues also contain scenes of Dazzler being totally brilliant (as in pretty) kickass and possibly FLYING and I really can't give too much of a fuck, because it's stopped being enjoyable. In fact if I wasn't staying up with a friend, I'd have stopped reading it - just like I stopped reading Manhunter when it skipped to one year later (and yeah, I should be posting about that soon)

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