MY BIRTHDAY; a little happiness, some rant, some smack talk and plea for reccs

Let us describe what I did with my birthday.

I relaxed. I had easy, yet delicious food. I bundled up for warmth. And I read comics. All. Damn. Day.

I read me some NextWave. Agents of H.A.T.E - FINALLY. And got me some squee over Monica (Who will ALWAYS BE MY CAPTAIN MARVEL).

I read me some Shadowpact. Ragman is f*Cking cool! Seriously. Jewish hero. Kicking ass. Taking names. And BRINGING YOU YOUR REDEMPTION!

I think I'm in love.

Also it was very sad to learn that they stopped at #25. Also I only read up to #21.


Also also? Shadowpact? That was one white ass team, yo. WHITE. ASS. And I sincerely appreciate Nightmaster's vague allusion to that fact (mentioning getting his white ass handed to him)

Also? The JL in that series? WHITE AS WONDER BREAD.

Are there no POC magical heroes in DCverse? And please don't tell me Blue Devil is a person of colour, or I will rip your still beating heart from your chest and piss on it.

Which reminds me I've had a post brewing to one side about Supergirl getting kicked to the curb from the WHITE AS MOON ASS Teen Titans - but it's a rant involving lots of frothing at the mouth from me, at how things went down via summaries from Maid of Might and scans_daily. So it might not ever see the light of day.

Seriously the only way that whole set up could be redeemed to me is if someone comes back and does THE STORY WE DIDN'T KNOW, where Cassie fricking Stargirl had herself some lesbian experimentation using Super-Girl as something to hump in her grieving over Kon-EL, selfishly not considering that using a person, moreover a person with limited understanding of human interactions and no clue this could be a possibility, is WRONGER than WRONG especially when one calls oneself a hero.

*breathes at that run on sentence*

AND the misunderstanding between Cassie and Kara when this is all explained is that Cassie confesses and Supergirl is understandably pissed off and is all very much "Lose my number you user skank!"

*breathes, exhales*

But where was I? Oh yes.

GREEN LANTERN CORPS.

Seriously - WTF is up with that? I repeat. WHAT. THE. F*CK. IS. UP. WITH. THAT.??!

A girl on her birthday tries to get into GLC, look at some stuff, cause the Rainbow Wars look interesting and the latest previews look exciting.

AND................

Apparently in order to know WTF is going on, I have to read shite from 2004! Because Geoff Johns is a -looooooong- view writer?

SERIOUSLY?

SERIOUSLY?

This is supposed to encourage me to buy the TPB's HOW?

Cause you know, so far on my list of things to acquire by the end of the year, I've got - NEW EXCALIBUR (the first half 1-15) and NEXTWAVE.

But I need to know about ION and Sinestro Corps War in order to appreciate The Alpha Lanterns and the fact that the big headed blue dudes have felt fear and like George Bush Jr after 9/11 are now running around going 'PATRIOT ACT!' and 'ILLEGAL PHONE TAPS' and 'OH NOES WE NEEDS US SOME CIA INTERNAL AFFAIRS IN HERE!' ?????

I don't have a clue if I'll even like GL, why do I need to know all that? How is this attractive to the causal but intrigued new series reader?

Also GL fans, are you aware that while Kali921 is one of you, she's also a Nova Corps fan? Not only that, but she and others have been pimping Marvel's Cosmic Comics at me, like it was naked women covered in chocolate whose mouths constantly produce whipped cream and caramel?

And one of the bloody damn hooks of Nova Corps & Anahilation is that I don't bloody well have to do bloody homework in order to understand it??

Despite some scant knowledge of GL's from my childhood, including a parent's love of Alan Scott, I am a definitive DCAU baby! I have one true Lantern and his name is not HAL or KYLE. And my kickass female lantern love is PINK and likes dark meat!


Why do I need to read about people I only know of as peripherals in order to understand a story that seems as if it should have a broader more encompassing pov? Is the Rainbow Corps not a truly epic undertaking after all? Epic as in universal, as in not complicated requiring endless footnotes to comprehend???

*breathes*

Seriously though Nova has a Raccoon and the GLC has a chipmunk, or maybe it's a squirrel. Either way, glowy people kicking ass to save the universe. My money's only going to be spent on that story ONCE. And it's going to be spent on something that's enjoyable and doesn't give me a damn headache.

So if any GL fans out there want to point me to something, or inform me of what to read that's not 4 trades prior to what's going on right now. I think my vote's been cast.

Also. Nova has/is a lesbian.

So seriously. Y'all GLC pimpers are getting rolled!

Right, now that all that bemused WTF is out of my system :) And it is bemused, cause I was all about the happy on my b-day....

Who wants to recc me something to spend birthday money on? Keeping in mind my icons are generally women, with close to cosmic level powers who'll kick a bad guy in the face or groin?

Also, is there a light based heroine (maybe even hero) I DON'T know about?

Monica, Allison Blaire... (I know I'm forgetting someone)